Let’s get intimate: how to have great sex

Share Post:

We live in a part of the world where the topic of sex is… a bit taboo. Yet we know how much it impacts our relationships, our health, and our happiness.

So we have to talk about it folks. Gratefully, we are still safe: as it turns out, we don’t have to talk about the physical at all to talk about how to have healthier, happier, better sex.

“Say what??” You ask. Yes, you heard me: According to the research, physicality has almost nothing to do with great sex! 

A study interviewing people across all demographic variables (age, education, cultural background, sexuality, gender, income, etc.) asked folks to talk about their greatest experiences in bed (..or not).

And consistently found these 8 universal components:

  1. being present, focused, embodied – free of distractions and able to keep attention on sensation.
  2. connection, alignment, merger and being in sync – essentially, “chemistry”- that electric feeling of being in tune with your partner. 
  3. deep sexual and erotic intimacy – sharing mutual respect, acceptance, admiration, compassion, and trust
  4. extraordinary communication and heightened empathy – feeling free to take risks in sharing oneself mentally and emotionally; valuing taking responsibility in identifying what desires and sensitivities to convey to, and hearing the same from, your partner. 
  5. interpersonal risk-taking, exploration and fun – a spirit of adventure and laughter as you discover more about yourself and your partner. 
  6. authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited and transparency – you can say and be anything: selfish, impulsive, free of cares, emotionally uncontrolled, and unguarded. This lack of inhibition allows a partner to feel uninhibited as well.
  7. vulnerability and surrender – putting the control in your partner’s hands, taking the leap of faith to be uninhibited, communicative, and playful with your partner. 
  8. transcendence, bliss, peace, transformation and healing – a feeling of expansiveness outside of body and mind

OK, so not about the physical.. but maybe we see why we choose to focus on that instead of what truly allows for great sex: mindset and interpersonal connection.

To create these elements, we have to feel safe, learn some other skill sets (communication, focus, relaxation) and broaden our definition of sexuality to recognize and embrace all the ways we create and experience pleasure.

So here are some wonderful resources to get on your way:

The excellent therapists at Revitalist: Jeff Cockerham specializing in couples, and Florence Paquet, specializing in sexual wellbeing and trauma.

Nonviolent Communication from Marshall Rosenberg – excellent book, but you can find this as a 5 hour audiobook for free on youtube right now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBZUpt1bmnM

Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel – again, you should get this book, but here are some notes to get you started:

Book notes: Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Making Love Real by Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirshman

Now take a moment, what was your greatest experience? Why? What were you thinking about? 

Mental Wellness Visionary at KathrynAWalker.com | Website

Kathryn A. Walker is a pioneering medical researcher and psychiatrist known for her groundbreaking work in the field of mental health, particularly in the area of ketamine treatments. With a deep passion for understanding and alleviating the burden of treatment-resistant mood disorders, Kathryn has dedicated her career to investigating the therapeutic potential of ketamine.

Through her relentless efforts, she has played a pivotal role in shedding light on ketamine’s efficacy in treating conditions like depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Her research has not only transformed the way we approach mental health care but has also provided hope to countless individuals who had previously found little relief from conventional treatments.

Kathryn A. Walker’s pioneering contributions continue to shape the landscape of mental health medicine and inspire new avenues of research in the pursuit of better mental well-being for all.

Stay Connected

More Press Releases

Keep up with the Brain! Subscribe to our Newsletter

Revitalist uses cutting-edge and evidence-based treatments at the forefront of mental health and pain condition management.

Our wellness center empowers individuals toward an improved quality of life and well-being through comprehensive and compassionate care. The vision for our practice has become a gold standard that brings you the caring and supportive transformation you deserve, and Revitalist is the most cost-effective provider in the nation.

Treatment Location
Tampa, Floria

2325 Ulmerton Rd #27
Clearwater, FL 33762

Resources
Referrals & Partners
Free Assessment Hotline
Existing Clients
Receptionist
Opening Hours
Mon-Fri: 8:00am – 4:00pm
Sat-Sun: Closed
Collaborative Community Network
©2023 Revitalist Tampa Treatment Clinic. All rights reserved.